Day 1: More of Jesus, Less of Me

More of Jesus, Less of Me

Day One of A Spiritual Feast

I want to spend a month looking at what God's word has to say about the spiritual feast that other's in the Bible were blessed with ~ in hopes of helping me replace the emotional eating habits that I still am trying to change. So this is day one of "spiritual feast" devotionals - searching God's Word and planning to start each day with the prayer "More of Jesus, Less of Me".

"God commanded the Man, "You can eat from any tree in the garden, except from the Tree-of-Knowledge-of-Good-and-Evil. Don't eat from it. The moment you eat from that tree, you're dead." Gen. 2:16-17 The Message.

It doesn't surprise me in the least that one of the first "rules" God gave to Adam and Eve had to do with "eating". We as humans need food to live. God prepared a feast of every food in the garden exept one food from one tree. This fruit was harmful and God was trying to protect Adam and Eve.

Today there are so many harmful "forbidden fruits" that I should not be tempted to dabble in... and literally there are millions of food products that are artificial or loaded with fats and sugar. The commercials for these foods use music, laughter, sounds of people smacking their lips and enjoying themselves in front of plates of 3000 calorie meals. It is not an easy time to start a healthy eating plan. Last week I started on Medifast again. It was one of the first healthy diets for morbidly obese patients in hospitals back in the early '80s. It works for me. I am hoping that these 30 days of devotionsals "Less of Me, and more of Him" will help me keep my focus on Christ and God's plan for my life.

Lord, help me to see where in my life I am missing you. Please help me to find strength in your Word and to focus on the truth - that without Your love and grace I cannot be whole and I cannot resist the temptations and Satan's whispers "Eat - just one bite won't hurt". I am so hungry for love because of an upbringing that lacked so much, a marriage that was not whole because I was so afraid and so hungry for love but not trusting enough when people said they loved me. Lord help me to remember that with Christ I can do anything. Forgive my unbelief when I do not live the life of the redeemed. In my glorious Redeemer's name I pray, Amen.

Jungle Out There

Day Eight & Nine

Monday and Tuesday flew by! Monday was physical therapy and then my caregiver/helper came by to work. I had made flyers to put up at Dallas Baptist University for roommates so we headed there to put them up. Because I am now on disability, I must take in roommates to help pay the mortgage. I took the wheelchair hoping to cruise around the campus and get some fresh air. It was a hilly campus and not as handicapped friendly as I thought. So I ended up hanging out in the car while Renee put up most of the signs. Then we went to Walmart and I did use my electric wheelchair. It is so easy to use and I spent too much time shopping. I was able to shop for food that will work well with the Medifast diet. We did not get home until almost rush hour. When Renee left I rested and went to bed early. Tuesday we worked on putting away boxes and items in my bedroom and put up drapes. When I moved into the house I nailed a bedspread over the bedroom window. It looks good now and the bedroom has been swept for the first time in a while. After I shattered my leg last October, the christian caregiver that I hired stole $4000 from my bank account and I had not had help since January. I did the best I could to keep things picked up and put away. Then my father's strokes and death happened in April and I brought boxes and boxes of paperwork and valuables home, where they have been left sitting for months. A friends came over after lunch today and helped clear out most of the old boxes out of the garage. What a blessing!

Dieting ~ well the last two days have been good. I am recording what I am eating and keeping busy or resting. Keeping busy is important and evenings are the hardest time of day. The cravings come hard and heavy ~ especially when all the commercials on TV are about food! There is one that is playing now from an ice cream store. They just shout the words ice cream, cake, ice cream, cake, ~ over and over again while showing flashes of ice cream and cake. Normally this wouldn't even tempt me but I was ready to get out into the car and drive there!

I am thankful for every minute that God helps me get through without falling into despair or pigging out. He is my only strength. I have been reading Max Lucado's book "Traveling Light, Releasing the burdens you were never intended to bear ~ the Promise of Psalm 23". In the chapter "It's a jungle out there" he talks about Psalm 23:3 ~ "He restores my soul." The book reminded me of several scriptures. In II Peter 2:11 "...you are like foriegners and strangers in this world". And also God encouraging me to lift my eyes from the jungle of temptations, fears, and hopelessness in Col. 3:2 ~ "Don't shuffle along, eyes on the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ... see things from His perspective."

One of my favorite scriptures is Psalm 121 ~ "I lift my eyes to the hills - Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth...The Lord will keep you from all harm - He will watch over your life." So as I go through these days, struggling minute by minute to do what is right, to conquer fears and memories, and to forge new habits ~ I will try to remember who is watching over my whole life.

Lord God Almighty, thank you for another few days of help as I try to eat healthy. I am such a habit-bound, compulsive eater. My sin is ever before me and I feel like I am lost in a jungle of emotions. Help me find a lighted path to your salvation. I know that this will only happen when I follow Jesus, my Redeemer, my life. It is in His name I pray for mercy today, Amen.

On Eagle's Wings

Day Seven

I realize that some days I will not be able to write a blog entry. The Medifast diet for diabetics is really the best for me. Like I have said before - I prayed about what to do and this worked for me over a decade ago until my weightloss and other issues led to my divorce. The last two days on this diet have sent my blood sugar on a roller coaster ride. I stayed in bed most of one day but tried to eat and stay on the program. I carefully monitored my blood sugar levels. Could it be that my body is getting used to the shakes? I am not used to eating every 2 hours. Could this be the problem?

As I napped and read, the thought of "eagles wings" kept coming to mind. I need to be "raised up on eagle's wings" every day ~ held in the palm of God's hands.

Lord Almighty, hold me up and help me from plunging into deep depression today. I want to live a new, healthy life with You. Please guide me as I go through these feelings that are brought to mind when food is the issue and the past scars keep past hurts walled up. Set me free so that I might be of service to You, so that I can open my arms wide and love others. I know Lord that my path lies to the foot of the cross and salvation comes from Jesus and his sacrificial offering for my sins, my past, and my disfunctional life. It is through His name I pray this prayer today, Amen.

The Search Begins

Day One

The search began for the right plan for loosing weight. At one time I weighed 365 pounds! For a 5 foot 4 inch female that was a tremendous burden. In 1987 I used the Medifast weight loss plan given through a hospital. It was fasting using liquid shakes only. I lost 75 pounds and have kept below 300 every since. This has been through a divorce, putting myself through college, the death of my mother, two layoffs, a ten year career as a 5th grade teacher, four major surgeries, and taking care of my elderly father for four years. Through all of this I managed to hold on and not gain weight. The last 4 months have been extremely difficult and I am beginning to gain weight again. I was forced to go on permanent disability after shattering my left femur in a fall, my father had two major strokes and passed away after 20 days of hospice, and the caregiver that was taking care of me stole over $4,000 from my bank accounts.

I went to Medifast today and listened to the facts and costs of the program. Now I am praying for the guidance that I need. I cannot endure bariatric surgery, staples or rubber bands in my body. Some might think Medifast is drastic but it worked for me in the past. My doctor approves and said he would monitor me and my therapist will help me through the emotional part of loosing the weight.

With so many ads, products, and promotions for loosing weight ~ I turn to God and His word:

Psalm 63:1 "O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for You, my body longs for You, in a dry and weary land where there is no water."

I know He will guide me.

Lord, I come before you now longing for guidance. Help me to not be afraid. Give me boldness and self-control when it comes to dieting. Lord I thirst for your love and I want to be healed by your hand. In Christ's name I pray, Amen.