My brother played little league baseball and I would watch from behind the fenced backstop. One time I had my nose and fingers sticking through the fence and wham! the batter threw his bat as he ran and I got a bloody nose, bruised fingers and a black eye. After that I would flinch every time I heard the crack of a baseball hitting a bat.
Family life behind closed doors was not easy. I learned to be afraid and overprotective of my body and my soul and my mind. Over the years, with God's help - I have learned that I cannot control life and there will be "black eyes" and I will feel black and blue often in my life. Hebrews 11:17 - Abraham was forced to sacrifice his son but at the last moment, God spared him this sorrow. Abraham believed God would fulfill His promises and was ready to do the unthinkable, the unbearable. "Blessed is he who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12 I am promised that if I get out there and keep believing, no matter what trial comes, how painful it may be ~ when "game over" is called ~ a crown and eternity with the Lord is around the corner. 
Dear Lord, Your mercy is amazing! Thank you for keeping me alive this long and healing my battered soul and mind - year after year. Help me to live a fearless life and but my trust in You every day, even when life becomes painful. Help me look at Your Son for my example on how to treat abusers. Lord please forgive my family and help them see how useless a life spent hiding secrets is... let them see the truth and stop denying the family "sins". Through Your Son's name, the Rock of my Salvation, I plead, Amen
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