For the trees

For the Trees

Ever heard of the phrase "can't see the forest for the trees"? It is used to describe someone who is focusing too much on the details, on specific problems. That person is missing the main point, not understanding the whole situation, and is in great need of someone to help them see clearly. Why do I bring this up? I love trees! They have always been a comfort and a theme that runs through my life. They are like huge arrows pointing to heaven; messengers of God's creation and His love for me.

Last year I went to an exhibit opening in San Antonio. I lived there for a while when I was younger. Just like a winter tree with the last few leaves hanging on as the blasts of icy wind shake the limbs, my memories of that house in San Antonio are very few. I have held onto what memories I have tenaciously. My sister told me yesterday that we lived there for more than 6 years. How can that be? I thought I had lived there just 2 years! I only have a few memories! Were the buried memories so horrific? Was I disassociating so much that those years are lost forever? What good memories and happy times were lost? Why can't I remember?! Once again, as I ponder these things, I am thrown into despair and depression. It was not looking like a good day.....for dieting, for anything. Then I searched for and found the pictures that I had taken a year ago when I was in San Antonio. I had gone by the house my parents had built over 30 years ago - their retirement home (for a few short years). I do remember my Dad planting the young trees, placing small wooden stakes and ropes to secure them so that they would not break in the wind. The pictures I took last year of the house and the front and back yard showed how huge and strong the trees had grown - in those 30 years. (The house and trees are in picture below with scripture.) There was evidence of limbs that had broken off and then trimmed. Over all, even with a few scars, they were gigantic and healthy looking. Sometime during our stay in that house, Dad was recruited to work for the military as an advisor. The house in San Antonio, the retirement home was sold so that we could move again, again, and again.

Perhaps my memories of that time are like the large branches of the trees, gone and discarded - so that the tree itself would remain healthy, growing strong and soaring toward heaven. I don't really know. What I do know - if I need to dig up the memories so that I can heal, get healthy, and move forward - God will help me find a path through that dark forest of pain. However, if the memories are gone forever - I will have to look at the big picture and focus on the part of me that is healthy and strong. It won't be easy. It is not easy having missing pieces of your life. I know that God will help me deal with any difficulty, even depression.

Trees can continue to grow, even during a draught. In the last 30 years San Antonio has had many draughts but even a little rain spitting down from the sky or watering once a week can sustain a tree - if the roots are deep enough. Even spit can heal and provide a new life.

Can't see the forest for the trees?.....Jesus had just fed thousands of people with just a little food. You would expect the next act to be grand - not spit related! In the city of Bethsaida Jesus met a blind man. Instead of healing him so all could see, he led the man out of town and spit in his face! At first the man could not see the "forest for the trees" but soon he was able to see everything clearly - he saw the people in the distance. Did he run back to the village shouting praises, starting a new ministry of praise? No - Jesus sent him back to his house and told him not to tell the village. That does not make sense at first. Think about it. Maybe, like the blind man, ours is a private healing. Sometimes our time with the Lord and what we go through with Him is best kept to ourselves. Perhaps it is because He is not finished with us yet and before we go "out into all the world".... we first need to go home to a closet and continue the healing process. I believe in my case - I am still in the closet of prayer and healing. The Lord has shown me His glory - one more time. His beautiful creation, the trees, pointed the way again. He has bathed my eyes with healing tears and given me work today to do at home.

Lord, please help me to see my whole life through your eyes, so that I can see clearly. Help me to know what I am to do in your service. You have given me healing and talent to do your will. There are so many choices, so many needy people, and it can be confusing. I run ahead of you sometimes, shouting your praises, doing what I can chaotically but running into trees. Lead me day by day, minute by minute. Plant your word in my heart so that I can stand strong through any storm and always point toward your glory. In Christ's name I pray, Amen.